Traditionally, it is believed that men get attracted to paid sex because of the existence of extreme level of curiosity in them for sex or sexual related things. But if we have a look over recent trend with deep analytical point of view, it will be found out that traditional trend does not align with newly found theories. Hence, people need to shun old theories and re-think on this topic.
A new survey conducted by Dirk Schubotz of Queen’s University of Belfast and Susann Huschke of University of the Witwatersrand of South Africa revealed new scope for giving serious thought on this topic. On their research paper Commercial Sex, Clients and Christian Morals: Paying for Sex in Ireland, they stated that men go for paid sex because of two things: a) Lack of confidence and b) Lack of sexual pleasure in life after marriage. They conducted an online survey where 446 males participated and given interview. Research says that 50% of them, who took part in the survey, are either married in a true sense or get engaged with their girlfriends. But all of them has got one similarity, i.e., all of them have got tendency to get sexual pleasure in exchange of money.
Let’s discuss the reasons with a little bit of analysis. Lack of confidence occurs when people get humiliated in the hands of its friends in educational institutions, colleagues in work places, relatives at homes and if they find out that there is no one to stand with them in times of troubles. If you think you are inferior, you are the same and this thought installs the feeling of inadequacy and you may feel that you are not as smart as others in dealing with troubles. In that case, you, in an desperate attempt of proving that you are confident and showing off, engage with casual sex as a means of liberating yourself from monotonous and hell-of-a-thing life…. just to prove that you have got manhood like other do. However, this does not make him a man always and being engaged with casual sex has got nothing to do with manhood. Manhood is all about being a man instead of being a spineless creature and stand tall like a tree in the face of typhoon. Parents should take a great care in educating their children about sexuality and its benefits and disadvantages. Sexuality is like a knife which if not handled properly, can be proved to be dangerous. Instead of being shy in front of children, parents should be open and taking liberal approach in discussing these sensitive topics as a part of the process of educating them. Otherwise, lack of confidence will be evident in them which might degrade the level of motivation and confidence.
The other reason, as stated by Huschke and Schubotz, should be discussed as well. A survey was conducted Julia Omarzu, an psychologist from Loras College and if we summarize her findings, we will find some important reasons for unhappiness in relationship and all of them are related to sexual dissatisfaction. They either wish to have more sex that they are having now or wish to gain additional emotional validation. If these two things do not work out, they go for extra marital affairs which are the product of lack of sexual pleasure in life after marriage. Now the question is why people become unhappy after marriage? In Indian context, sexual dissatisfaction is brought about in marriage after the children are born and that makes some people go for paid sex. If happiness cannot be got, it can be bought; may be for some hours, or days or nights. However, it does not last forever, but it provides us with temporary pleasure in life and for some moment we are taken to the lost paradise. So it is evident, that sexual dissatisfaction is the product of unhappiness in married life. We are destined to be unhappy once in our married life for no couple can be happy for long time because of the intellectual, ideological and gender differences among males and females. But it can be minimised with little bit of understanding. And one should not expect much things from a relationship despite being married or unmarried, because expectations, if lead to the deprivation, can cause frustration and hence can be one of the reasons for disappointment.
To conclude, I would like to state that paid sex or casual sex can never get you all the pleasure in life. However, we cannot ignore its presence in our life and once in a life, we have to experience that.